Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Need a Fill!

Okay - I've been eating like crap I admit it. But I also have very little resistance in my band. My health insurance won't cover my fills (deductible really high) I'm not working so I'd have to pay for it out of pocket. So therefore, if I get too much and have to go back in it will add up. I moved and haven't even begin to look for a bariatric doctor here. I've been snowed in since I got here so I can't drive. Hence, another problem is I am inside all day with the exception of a 30-45 minute walk in the cold. So I have gained weight. Probably over 10 lbs. I'm afraid to get on the scale. That's in addition to the 5 I had already gained. I'm pretty bummed about it. I know I need a fill but I'm scared to spend the money. I have this tool but don't have the money to use it. Of course, when I got it, I had the good insurance. This sucks. So the other thing is to diet. I hate the D word. But that's what it's going to take. I'm feeling like a blob being stuck inside most of the day so I need to change up my routine - walk more or something. This isn't good!

On the other hand I'm in love. That is a good thing.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Happy New Year

I haven't posted for a long time and realized that the last time I did it was on another blog that no one follows. Oh well! I also noticed I haven't lost any weight since April. Actually, I'm up 8 lbs but I take full responsibility. I'm eating the wrong foods (not enough protein) and no exercise. I blame stress as usual and lack of structure in my life. But hopefully that will change as I am moving next week to be closer to my family. It's a big step for me. Huge in fact. I quit the job that I had gotten in my former industry (hated it). I just can't see myself doing that for the rest of my life. I have no idea what I'm going to do. I'm leaving my sons behind (one with his Dad to finish high school and the other is in jail--so sad). Hopefully, it will be a change for the better. I have a wonderful new boyfriend who I've known since 8th grade and he is coming down here to help me drive back home. He lives where I'm moving and we will be spending a lot more time getting to know each other. He's not the reason I'm moving but he certainly is taking some of the stress off of me.

I've enjoyed reading everyone's blogs and posts and seeing so many successes. I just haven't been interested in really working to lose more weight. And it is work. You have to really work at it with this band that's for sure. I'm surprised I haven't gained more weight but it still works to restrict the amount I can eat. Thank goodness. I suppose I will have to find another lap band doctor when I move.